post examination stress disorder

finished exam... it's so fast... it's over before i'm aware of what's going on... not happy... i had this helpless feeling while i was sitting in this examination hall today... having to make plenty of guesses hoping luck will help me to get these guesses right... the feeling that i'm nowhere... didn't know what i was doing... scary and insecure... today was only marginally better than the day when i had my psychiatry final MB... that time i passed... the difference is psychiatry was my most hated subject while medicine is my favourite... it's a pain to realise i know nothing about what i like most... there's nothing to blame really.. think i'm unprepared... there's not much room to go either... given there's no syllabus and things are so vague... i cannot imagine i might be the only one who will fail in my hospital... i wanted so much to ring up all my soulmates and tell them i'm despaired... i gave up the idea knowing it's not nice to have my friends listen to my boring murmur...

so holiday is over... did nothing... what a waste if i don't pass in the end... i have already took my leave in May... perhaps i really need to take it for the second time before my italy trip... will be working mane... no weekend... forgot everything about the ventilators...